from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Hey there,
I saw your gas mask bong, sword and air rifle. I have to have all 3, let's make a deal!
-Hal
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from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Ok what do you think is a fare price.
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from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
I'll think it over and email you sometime in the afternoon. Are you looking to make a trade? I could put together a list for you of things I'm thinking about trading? Let me take a look around the house and my storage unit, what are you looking for?
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from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Yes I'm willing to trade
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Great! I certainly hope you're willing to think outside the box! I am in the business of Immigrant and Human Re-location. Basically, people contact me from various places ranging from China to Beloit wanting a "better life". Sometime's they don't have to contact me at all! A few of my associates specialize in the art of "spontaneous re-location", where they find random people possibly wanting a change of scenery. Business is great and because of that inventory is BOOMING! To the point that many of my clients are forced to live in locked shipping containers and underground storage units. Anyway, I am willing to trade you for your sword, bong and rifle the Immigrant of your choice. I actually have one in mind. I have a 45 year old fire cracker named Su Kim Chan, trim, long black hair. Probably knows how to cook and do laundry. She doesn't speak English and I haven't seen her smile. She is eager for placement though. All she can talk about is "Wanting to go home", and I made her a promise that I would find her that special place. Give her a hot shower and a Hot Pocket and she should clean up real nice! I can send you a picture if needs be. Let me know if you're interested. I GOTTA have that sword!!! Way cool!
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Naw I'm not interested. Not what I'm looking for.
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Totally understandable, she would be an aquired taste Im sure. I like your style though, you drive a hard bargain!! I guess I need to up the ante. I just received a young 20-something from Denmark. Green eyes, blonde hair, speaks great English and would look great in an evening dress! she'll need a little TLC as the trip from Denmark was a little rough resulting in a black eye and some bruising around her wrists. She's all yours, I just got to have that sword!!!
-Hal
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Sounds great want u send me a pick
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
You got it. I attached a pic. Sorry it took a little bit, but we wanted to slap a fresh coat of makeup on her to make her look somewhat presentable. As you can see, she wasn't to happy about us taking her photo. She's a shy one! LOL! Anyway, her name is Hilda and she is looking for the right home! A few things you should know in full disclosure. She is roughly 5'9", 170lbs and hails from the quaint town of Flartsenhoppen, Denmark. She has a soothing deep voice and large strong hands ready to work!
Let me know if you have any questions!
-Hal
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Naw
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Naw? Was it something we said? We just offered you the most premium product we have! You must not like women, which is just fine! Attached is a picture of Felix who would be the perfect trade for your sword and Bong mask! He's about 5'3", loves to hug and cuddle and lives off of Ritz Crackers and Diet Dr. Pepper. I'd hate to part ways with him, but for the right sword I'm will to do anything! Let me know!
-Hal
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
No I'm into women i just don't want any people at all.
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Hey, we don't judge around here and your secret is safe with us! We know plenty of people "still in the closet" so to speak. That being said, I think I have the perfect person to trade a fine up-standing homosexual like yourself. Attached is a picture of Sally. As you can probably tell from her picture, she is a lot of fun to be around and would be a sheer gem to own. She is great at keeping secrets (such as yours) and is only looking for a warm bed and happy home to share with someone at the end of the day. She smokes about 3 packs of Virginia Slims a day (hope thats not a deal breaker) and she hasn't shaven in about 2 months or so. Her favorite food is Captain Crunch and loves Blue Raspberry Boon's Farm. Let me know if your at all interested. You haven't traded that awesome sword yet have you? I hope not! Sally would be perfect for you! Let me know!
-Hal
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
No no no
from: Hal Dumpenchest <dr.********@gmail.com>
Hmmmmm...ok well I have to say I'm probably just as frustrated as you are. I'll admit, however, that I am not well versed in what the wants and desires are of secret homosexuals like yourself are. Do like the same things as other gay males? If so, perhaps I have the perfect gentleman for you to own! Meet Boris! Mid 50's from Aystumouth, Greenland. Loves to garden, write poetry and is down for the occassional tickle fight (which he almost always loses!!) We have tried to sell him to numerous gay homes before, but to no prevail. How can you not love that smile!? Anyway, I have a good feeling about this one and think yours would be the PERFECT homosexual home to live in. Secret yet understanding. So how 'bout it? Let me know!
-Hal
from: jsrqr-374*****@sale.craigslist.org>
to: Hal Dumpenchest dr.********@gmail.com
Dude im not gay, i just want cash keep ur ugly peoples to urself. You haven't shown me one nice bitch. U most be a desprite homosexual that has nothing else to do.
